From Treviglio (BG), Italy to Bourges, France for a year with Intercultura and with the support of the Pesenti Foundation.
SECOND TRIMESTER: DECEMBER – FEBRUARY 2022
Relationship with my host family: After almost eight months with my host family, I can say I’ve ended up with the best family I could have hoped for. I’ve built a great relationship with all the family members, but especially with my host sister Anaïs—we go out often, we talk, joke around all the time… basically everything sisters do. That said, I feel my host family is more like a group of very close friends or close relatives, because they obviously can’t replace my family in Italy. I’m really happy to be spending these 10 months with them—they’re always there for me when I need them, they go out of their way to make me happy, and they never say no (though sometimes I do miss having someone tell me to stop). I’ve now converted them to Italian food, but I’ve also adapted to their way of eating. I don’t think I’ve ever eaten this many vegetables in my life! One of the most common questions here is, “What vegetable would you like to go with your meal?”—and since I’m not a big veggie lover, I never know what to answer, because often all I want is a nice plate of pasta or something with carbs. Still, it’s great to try new things and discover that veggies aren’t that bad after all. I also love that my host parents give me hugs and kisses just like they do with their daughters. Sometimes, though, I don’t want to intrude on their private family moments, so I feel alone and really miss my real parents and the warmth of having them beside me. In short, I couldn’t have wished for a better host family, and there hasn’t been a single moment where I thought of changing families. I’m sure that after my exchange is over, I’ll visit them often.
Interaction with my host community and friends I can definitely say I’m 100% integrated and I’ve figured out who the people are that I truly want by my side. In December, I suddenly changed friend groups because I didn’t feel listened to, and the girls I was with didn’t seem interested in me or what I had to say. Then, in January, I started hanging out with another exchange student from Mexico. She introduced me to her group of French friends, and since then I’ve been surrounded by people who care about me—we laugh, joke, and go out together. Even though we might look very different from the outside, we get along really well. There’s Pamela, Emma, Sacha, Marie, and Amaury, who always keep me company at school—we spend our time listening to music, teasing each other, and eating salted sunflower seeds.
I’ve also integrated well into my volleyball team: Marion and Salomé are the girls I’ve bonded with the most, and we often go play small matches by the lake in Bourges. I get along particularly well with Marion—we have a lot in common and love talking about everything. For example, during the Easter holidays, we even met up in Bordeaux and spent the whole day playing beach volleyball while our families chatted over glasses of wine.
I’ve also joined the top team, and sometimes I get to play with the adult women and show off my skills.
Of course, I can’t forget my AFS friends. It goes without saying that we Italians try to meet up as often as possible—we love seeing each other alone so we can talk among ourselves. Then there’s a Swiss girl who lives in Bourges with me—we share a lot of time together, although lately I’ve been very busy, and we see each other less and less, which sometimes stresses me out a bit.
My academic experience: school performance and relationships Pretty steady—nothing really different compared to previous months. There’s definitely been some improvement in a few subjects, but nothing drastically different from the beginning of the year. One new thing, though, is that I got involved in the Italian class at my French school—I’ve given a few presentations on different topics and sometimes I participate in regular lessons too.
My free time As I mentioned earlier, I play volleyball two or three times a week. The rest of the time I’m usually at school because of the long class hours. On Wednesday afternoons, I either go into town with my friends or spend time with my host family and do homework. On the weekends, I either play volleyball matches or like to plan outings with other AFS students—sometimes we go to Paris since it’s not too far, or we just hang out in Bourges for a walk.
What impressed me most about this country – Interest in politics: In Italy, politics is seen as complicated, mostly because no one talks about it clearly. In France, though, they talk about politics all the time—especially this year with the elections—and even young people have strong opinions and discuss them openly.
– The different role of religion: In France, religious holidays aren’t as important anymore—vacations don’t necessarily align with them. Also, people my age often don’t even know the basics of religion because very few people are religious.
– How every excuse is a good excuse to sit down and have a drink with friends or family: Before eating—especially when guests are over—there has to be the “apéro,” the aperitif. For them, it’s a crucial step before dinner, and it can last hours, leaving little time for the actual meal.
– A sour note: the dirtiness of the streets: Trash, bad smells… even in busy areas.
Three words to describe my experience so far (and why I chose them) – Growth –> Since I’ve been in France, I’ve had a lot of responsibilities that led me to do things I would’ve never done in Italy: taking trains and metros alone, managing my money wisely, recognizing my own limits… growth also in knowing when to say no and in learning not to ignore things that bother me but to face them head-on. I’ve also learned to manage my emotions in many situations.
– Happiness> → There have been moments where I felt happier than ever before. Some days flew by way too fast, but I still carry amazing memories from them—even when nothing special was planned—just because I was surrounded by people I care about and who make me feel good.
– Gratitude> → Every single person around me has been incredibly kind and supportive. Without them, I wouldn’t have made it. They opened their homes and hearts to a stranger and gave me everything they could to make me happy and give me the best 10 months of my life. I feel grateful for everyone I’ve met on this journey—whether it was for a week or since the beginning. This gratitude isn’t only for the people I’ve met here, but also for my family back in Italy and for everyone who supported my exchange financially—because they’re the ones who made it possible for me to be here telling this story.
Anecdotes / Open Comment I have to admit that France wasn’t my first-choice destination, and I was definitely sad I couldn’t go to the country of my dreams. But now, I wouldn’t trade France for anything in the world. Some things I’ve discovered here will stay with me forever—just like the people I’ve met, who, even with two months still to go, are already telling me they’ll miss me.
France is so underrated—it holds so many layers and secrets that most people can’t even imagine. The French aren’t cold—they just need a little time to open up and let you into their lives. It’s true—they love their country and always put it first. But honestly, I admire that patriotic spirit. I wish we saw more of that in Italy.
One last thing: their food—just veggies and sauces… After 8 months, I can’t wait to eat loads of pasta again—and way less meat!
